Lizzy, kthnx.

40. UGHHH

Thu, 06 Aug 2009 09:36:14 GMT

I miss everything that there is to be missed/

I need sleep like I need a motherfucking asshole on my elbow.

Real update tomorrow.

Goodnight.

39. 21+

Sun, 07 Jun 2009 22:39:04 GMT

So, I've been 21 for almost a week now & I can't say I feel much different. Well, maybe I can: I DON'T WANNA DRINK. lol. I've realized that I've been drinking almost every day since annalise's fucking birthday and now it's starting to take it's toll on my body. Ugh, I just need to stop. Smoke more weed or something. jk!

Scott and I are way over. He's a fucking creep and a half & I should have known this but whatever, we live and learn, I guess. I'm talking to this guy, Matt, now. Eh, he's nice and cute, and he's a photo major, also! Not an alcoholic or druggie, has a job, and a car, and likes me! But like all good things, there's a catch: he's kinda boring. I don't know. I'm boring too but for once I'd like to date a guy that has stuff in common with me and can open my eyes to new things, not the other way around. I'm tired of being the eye-opener! Whatever, though.

Life is boring as fuck, but summer school will start soon and hopefully that will take my mind off how monotonous life can be.

I miss my friends. I miss being a kid. I still feel like a kid and it makes this growing up shit so much harder. I just wanna watch cartoons and eat cookies without a care in the world, forever! Fuck, I need to get out!

I'm boring. This is why I don't write in here anymore. =/

38. EVERYONE

Wed, 11 Mar 2009 06:50:50 GMT

listen to GIRL TALK.

forreals.

37. The house that funk built....

Sat, 31 Jan 2009 02:32:31 GMT

omfg.
soo there.
=P

35. Why don't you play the game?

Fri, 02 Jan 2009 03:07:26 GMT

I feel like I'm falling apart. This new year is a new beginning, yeah, but I'm only discovering that I can't rely on anyone (except for maybe my parents but even they can't save me) and that I'm my own worst enemy. I feel like I'm killing myself to feel more alive and, I hate to say it but, sometimes I feel like just KILLING MYSELF would make everything better. I won't, so don't worry. I'm just depressed. I really can't do anything right. And I don't know how to do things right . I just don't. It's just that everything I do is just not right. [deep breath] I just totally have to change myself. It's hard... I don't wanna be something I'm not. I don't know. This world I have created for myself is filled with selfish, paranoid, introverted extroverts....stupid fucking people. I feel like they're the problem and what's keeping me from happiness but I can't change them... I need to adapt despite the fact that they're not willing to do the same. Ever. I hate everything.

I need to stop being in love with Taylor. It's so fucking unhealthy. I can't help it. When I see him, I can't help but smile even though I'm dying inside. I wish my brain could beat the shit outta my heart every time that asshole stops to give me the time of day. I wish my brain could control my mouth over my heart so it can tell him to go fucking die and leave me the fuck alone. I know that he only like the way I act around him, I know he only like the attention, that he will never like me back. I wish I knew why he stopped liking me. Other than the whole fucked up summer situation thing, I never did anything to him. The ball's always been in his court & I hate that he has that power. This year, I'll take it back. I just have to. I can't let him win... no matter how badly I want to be anything rather than his nothing.

I'm considering moving to Portland with Lorna... it's a HUGE possibility. I think I spelled that shit wrong.

34. The Return of HELLA.

Sat, 15 Nov 2008 07:38:32 GMT

I feel like I've grown up a lot in this past year. It's really hard to believe that it's not even over. I need to grow up. Well, I am... I just need to handle it a little better. Be more creative, more positive. Curlier, even (pfft, like that's even possible! ;D )I don't know. This year's been a real eye-opener. I can't be a little baby about shit... but you know what? I'm not. I get my shit done, pay my bills, floss my teeth, clean my house, and I take care of my dog. OH! Not to mention, yours truely is learning how to cook!...sort of. At least I'm trying... I just have to keep on trying and not get lazy and unmotivated. I need to go back to school. Hella hard. I'm gonna have my friend help me apply for hella grants so I can go to school. I can handle that shit so much better than I can handle hella bills and shitty jobs. Shitty mens, too, but that's a totally different ballpark. I think I swallowed a bug.

What's your crime?

Sat, 11 Oct 2008 18:24:48 GMT

Sometimes life is really, REALLY good,
and sometimes, life is really, REALLY bad.

Today is one of those times.

It all feels really good, though.

To feel ALIVE, that is.

To feel as though it's always sunny even when it's cold.

To know that there are people who will go out of their way for you
just so you can go home and let someone know that there's one less asshole in the world.

I'm gonna ride out this happiness as long as I can.

Hopefully I don't run out of good tunes, good friends, and good weed along the way.

:]

p.s.

The Elite Dair played very well yesterday. Tiiiight.

16. Pork & Beans

Sun, 20 Apr 2008 06:35:21 GMT

Everything reminds me of him.

the new weezer single is the tightest thing ever.

10. Damn....

Tue, 05 Feb 2008 02:17:43 GMT

Man, Andy's mean....

09. 1 year & counting...

Mon, 04 Feb 2008 05:29:29 GMT

02.03.07
Then.

02.03.08
Now.
I feel so fucking blessed to have the boyfriend that I have. He is more than just a boy & so much more than just a friend. He's my everything. I've never met anyone as genuine as Donny James Ott. He is the definition of perfection to me, even though, at times, he gets on my nerves. He's the only person that can cheer me up when I'm down, the only person to make me feel beautiful. He's the only person that I've put complete trust in. For more than 365 days, he's had my heart and all of my attention. I can't even imagine what kind of person I would be today if it wasn't for him, and it's so fucking amazing that I know he would say the same about me. I never knew people could be so good until I met him. Despite it all, we've managed to only come on top after each major argument. I promise to make things so much better for our new year & beyond. As long as he's willing to have me, I will always be there for him. Through thick & thin, for better or worse, on his good days & bad days, I'll ALWAYS be there for him. We were made for eachother. It's us against the world. For the rest of forever. Tweedle Dee & Tweedle Dum. Itchy & Scratchy. Mac & Cheese. Donny & Lizzy. As long as the gods allow for us to be together we will continue to grow & mature for ourselves & for eachother. I've never been so content with being alive. I need to stop the little kid bull shit because, fuck, this boy, sorry, MAN, is the real deal. I'm the real deal for him. I am so happy that everything I can say about him he can say about me. We've become eachother's better halves... the way it's supposed to be. We compliment eachother. There's no way we won't end up together in the end. And I can say with 100% certainty that I am genuinely in love with this man. And he loves me back. What more could a girl ask for? I have Donny Ott, all I can ask for is for him to stick around for a while longer. A LONG while longer.... I have a hunch that he will. <3

THIS is the new year...

Sun, 03 Feb 2008 07:58:03 GMT

I can't believe we made it this far. I couldn't be happier. =)

07.

Mon, 28 Jan 2008 23:17:55 GMT

Everybody here sucks.